I don't know you Leora, but Joreth & Corpsefairy both know me IRL. I consider them both friends, and while Joreth may say I don't get it, I feel it's exactly the opposite... THEY don't get it, and neither do you. And you don't get it because you're all operating from a biased & bigoted POV, no different than that of a white Southerner raised in the 40's & 50's to believe that black people simply aren't as good as whites. My father's one of those, and while he's not a racist in the traditional sense he's suffused with a sort of pervasive sub-contextual bigotry that he's consciously unaware of & that he has trouble understanding when it's pointed out to him. I am sad that someone who's as pro-communication as Joreth & who understands complex logic & thought can't understand my point about how the institutionalized anti-male sentiment embodied in these concepts will keep people from understanding the real & meaningful points she conveys any more than things my father says about race won't be taken seriously by many (even tho he makes a lot of good points) because of his pronounced bias. Worst of all, in both cases, as long as people insist on the validity of the underlying prejudicial architecture they can't see that they, themselves, are operating from a bias they often accuse others of, rendering those claims ALSO moot even when the bias is very real. It becomes like arguing with a religious fundamentalist or an anti-vaxer (and those're both groups I willingly admit having a bias against, and I don't always live up to my own standards of communications when dealing with them as I'll just get pissed & throw stereotypes that're just as bad as "rape culture" at them... bunch of anti-vaxers are stalking me on HuffPo for that). Ultimately it becomes a circular argument because the people you're talking to are operating from an inflexible core ideology that assures them their opponents are not only wrong but either stupid or evil.

So, I'm sorry if you think I'm a bad person for it or that I don't "get" it, but you'll never convince me that a biased & bigoted concept like "rape culture" does anything but damage the real work that needs to be done to allow EVERYONE basic human dignity & respect, and to bring us to a day where no one has to fear getting in an elevator with a stranger. We'll never get there by fighting institutionalized ignorance and bigotry with a mirror image from the other side.