I don't think you're a bad person. I think you're attacking the wrong target.
I am truly sorry you went through what you went through. Abuse is awful and it is wrong. It should not happen to anyone. I am also sorry that you had to deal with bigots who made it worse by treating you unjustly because you are male. I do not support that.
I do feel you are conflating violence with rape though. I've looked through domestic violence stats, and they tend to be highly conflicting. The best estimates I can find tend to show that it's pretty sex-neutral - that is men and women tend to be equally likely to be abusive in relationships. And I do not support assuming that females are never abusers.
While females are less likely to commit sexual crimes, they also can be sexual abusers. Personally, I can think of two incidents when I have been groped against my will. Both times I was physically somewhat trapped. Both times were after the person had hit on me and I had said no. And one time was with a male and one time was with a female. Not stats, just personal experience. I consider both times wrong. I don't condone females who abuse others any more than I abuse men, even if the stats show that men are more likely to commit such offenses. Females are also more likely to be the victims of such offenses, but the stats for male victims are depressingly high too, which is a serious problem. It's part of rape culture, of course. If rape is supported, males will get raped and molested too. And rape culture supports rapists, whether they are male or female, and it does it at the expense of those who are not rapists, whether they are male or female. Which is part of why I think you are misguided in your target. You simply do not seem to see what is actually being attacked by those talking about rape culture.
I don't tend to see it used by people who are anti-male. I'm sure such people are out there, but I don't tend to see it. I didn't see it in this thread. But you seem to be highly sensitive to that interpretation, probably because you're so used to it, so you assume it's there even when it is not. I can understand how it might be an issue for you now given your history. But the people who are trying to fight rape culture don't tend to be anti-male. They tend to be anti-non-consensual activities. They tend to be pro-respect.
You keep seem to be making arguments about things that are bad, but they do not seem to go against anything people talking about rape culture are saying. So, it just makes it seem like you don't understand what people are talking about.
Re: Pt. 2 Re: "Rape culture" and the presumption of male guilt cont.
I am truly sorry you went through what you went through. Abuse is awful and it is wrong. It should not happen to anyone. I am also sorry that you had to deal with bigots who made it worse by treating you unjustly because you are male. I do not support that.
I do feel you are conflating violence with rape though. I've looked through domestic violence stats, and they tend to be highly conflicting. The best estimates I can find tend to show that it's pretty sex-neutral - that is men and women tend to be equally likely to be abusive in relationships. And I do not support assuming that females are never abusers.
While females are less likely to commit sexual crimes, they also can be sexual abusers. Personally, I can think of two incidents when I have been groped against my will. Both times I was physically somewhat trapped. Both times were after the person had hit on me and I had said no. And one time was with a male and one time was with a female. Not stats, just personal experience. I consider both times wrong. I don't condone females who abuse others any more than I abuse men, even if the stats show that men are more likely to commit such offenses. Females are also more likely to be the victims of such offenses, but the stats for male victims are depressingly high too, which is a serious problem. It's part of rape culture, of course. If rape is supported, males will get raped and molested too. And rape culture supports rapists, whether they are male or female, and it does it at the expense of those who are not rapists, whether they are male or female. Which is part of why I think you are misguided in your target. You simply do not seem to see what is actually being attacked by those talking about rape culture.
I don't tend to see it used by people who are anti-male. I'm sure such people are out there, but I don't tend to see it. I didn't see it in this thread. But you seem to be highly sensitive to that interpretation, probably because you're so used to it, so you assume it's there even when it is not. I can understand how it might be an issue for you now given your history. But the people who are trying to fight rape culture don't tend to be anti-male. They tend to be anti-non-consensual activities. They tend to be pro-respect.
You keep seem to be making arguments about things that are bad, but they do not seem to go against anything people talking about rape culture are saying. So, it just makes it seem like you don't understand what people are talking about.