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Tips from a life-long introvert & adult sufferer of periodic suicidal depression for those of you new to being stuck inside for long periods of time:
I can't stress enough how important it is to stay physical - and I don't mean just moving around. I mean to care for this bag of meat that we live in. Exercise and grooming to the best of your ability is still important even though we're (hopefully) not going out and partying right now. It's good for your physical health as well as your mental and emotional health.- You may be washing your hands more often, but don't forget to shower too! Lots of people might think this is gross, but when you add the anxiety and the isolation on top of the novelty of not being required to dress up or interact with other humans, actually showering can start to slip down on the priority list.
This is a big problem for people suffering from depression, and you might be new to the experience of depression. But being a shut-in might give you some new feelings, like lack of motivation and apathy. So make sure to shower. - Groom yourselves. Don't just shower and comb your hair, but actually TAKE CARE of your appearance. Every few days, get dolled up as if you had a date or a very important business function. I don't mean to get *dressed* up, although you could if you want to. I mean to be deliberate and conscious about your appearance and take extra steps.
If you're a full-out kinda person, then break out the makeup kit and hair products. If you're a little lower maintenance, then moisturize your face, buff your nails, comb your hair with a mirror, etc.
Shave or trim. I realize that not everyone shaves face or body hair, and some people don't even trim, but if this is something that you do when you're putting in extra care for a fancy or important event, then do it every couple of days now too.
Pick out an outfit. It doesn't have to be fancy, it should just be something that you thought about and *picked out*, not just grabbed whatever was on top in your drawer.
These kinds of deliberate choices are super important during a depression. They help combat feelings of apathy and helplessness and they help bolster your sense of identity. *What* you do isn't as important as the fact that you are making conscious and deliberate choices *to do it*.
If you are normally a "fuck you, I don't care what I look like" / "fuck the patriarchy, I won't buy into all the bullshit rules for my appearance" / "down with consumerism and capitalism, I refuse to get sucked into appearances-matter-to-line-your-pockets!" sort of person, this is still important to do.
It's not about meeting some arbitrary standard. It's about practicing making choices in who you are and expressing it through your appearance and in grooming and hygiene.
So pick whatever standard you want, as long as it takes some effort on your part. Pick the highest standard among your various standards for various circumstances, or pick some standard that is totally not you at all just to see what it's like to get up that way for fun. The point is - break your daily routine and put some effort into yourself. - Time to get over your fears of the phone! Traditional phone calls or video conferencing or whatever allows you to interact with another person in real time without coming in contact with them. Y'all already know about text-based mediums, but now we are losing our in-person socialization so we need a temporary substitute for this. Start calling your loved ones when you would otherwise have spent time with them in person.
Cook a meal and then Facetime with them while you both eat something. Make a cup of tea and Skype with someone. Put your bluetooth earbuds in while you work out in your living room and your workout buddy works out in theirs. Leave a video chat running on your computer while you clean the house. Run a Google Hangout with video for half a dozen of your friends on one device while running a Netflix Party with those same friends on your laptop. - Leave the house. For most of us, we are not under a strict quarantine, we are under self-isolation recommendations. That means don't congregate. You can still go for a solo bike ride. Take a walk around the block and combine it with a phone call to a loved one. You don't need to come in contact with people every time you leave the house, so leave the house for a little bit every day. Even if that means just going into your yard.
- Start a new hobby or pick up an old hobby. Gardening right now is probably an excellent new hobby, as it can be done solo, it gets you outdoors, and you can do it while talking on the phone to people. Then, you'll need to shower and clean up afterwards. 2 for 1! Working out - same thing.
Teach yourself how to knit from YouTube videos. Try your hand at jewelry-making. Start painting your spare room like you've been talking about for years. If you ever wanted to start writing your first novel or memoirs, now may be the perfect time to get started.
If you are fortunate enough to be able to self-isolate with a loved one and neither of you are sick, you can pick up some hobbies that work best with other people, like dancing (even solo dancing can be easier to learn with someone else learning alongside of you). Again, YouTube can help, even though I usually recommend in-person lessons as superior to watching a video. But you can start taking those lessons in a few months when all this blows over. You can get a head start with YouTube.
Sign up for The Great Courses. This is an online program that gives you access to all kinds of learning opportunities, including actual accredited classes. Learn something new! - Structure your day. Look, I get it. I sleep in late, I take about an hour to actually get out of bed once I'm awake, and I get sucked into the internet. This may seem like a luxurious benefit to the new self-isolation restrictions. But not having some kind of structure can lead to aimlessness, which leads to apathy. You don't need militaristic precision in your schedule, just pick some kind of structure.
Set timers and only faff about online until the timer goes off and then start your hobby. Set a timer for meals so that you don't forget them and start eating at random times. Do your new workout routine first thing in the morning to get your day started. Cozy up with a cup of tea and your onsie and Facetime for a goodnight chat with a loved one separated by the travel bans, and set a timer so that you don't end up staying up all night and messing up your schedule the next day.
Set aside time for goofing off or being impulsive or not having a plan. You don't need to do this, but a lot of my "spontaneous" friends chafe at the mere thought of having a schedule. But humans really do function better (both emotionally and as part of a cooperative society) when they have some kind of structure in their lives. So leave yourself some time for your spontaneous impulsivity while adhering to *some kind* of structure that still allows you to be productive and stave off depression and apathy. And those of you who have trouble with spontaneity could take this opportunity to learn more about it and stretch your creativity muscles. - Elsewhere, I suggested Netflix Party. I've been using this for years, and nobody seems to have ever heard of it, and then all of a sudden, major internet outlets are recommending it. This is a Chrome plugin that allows several people to watch the same Netflix video at the same time. Everyone needs to install the NP plugin and everyone needs to be able to login to Netflix wherever they are. And then everyone needs to have access to the same movie (this is relevant if you want to have a NP with people in other countries - not all videos are available streaming in all countries).
Then one person starts the Party, selects whether they want solo control of the video or to share control with the other viewers, and invites people to the party by sharing the link that NP provides. Everyone else clicks on the link and you're all now watching the same video that's synced up to everyone else's screen. There is a chat sidebar if you want to chat, but I like to have a second device sitting next to my laptop running a video chat app so that I can see and hear the people I'm in the Party with. I wear earbuds with a microphone for the video chat device, and then headphones on top of them that are connected to the laptop. This gives me good sound quality on both devices and prevents audio feedback.
I'm still trying out other programs to watch synchronized video through platforms other than Netflix.
So enjoy being able to work from home and cuddle with your furbabies and see your kids all day and wear comfortable clothing and not care about impossible cultural standards if this is a benefit to the current crisis for you. Absolutely take advantage of it while you can. Just be aware that these are the same things that contribute to other sorts of challenges like depression and chronic illness. So while they're fun when they're novel, we still need to be doing the other things too.
Keep moving, feeding, and cleaning your body, and keep (or start) caring about your appearance - again, not to meet externally imposed standards, but to keep in touch with the vessel that we are housed in and to keep the connection between the state of this vessel and the state of our mind strong and healthy. It's like maintaining your car - you might not care if your car looks like shit because appearances don't matter to you, but peeling paint and exposed metal and dents in the frame impact the functioning of your vehicle and, if not maintained, will increase the speed of deterioration.
It's not about appearances, it's about *functioning*. Appearances are also functional. Grooming is important. Being physically active (to the best of your ability) is important. Keeping busy is important. Socializing is important. Learning is important. You can get through this self-isolation period. If my entire generation (GenX) could survive as latchkey kids, y'all can make it through the next few months.
