Date: 7/7/11 08:11 pm (UTC)From: [identity profile] leora.livejournal.com
From the studies I've read, it's generally viewed as making her willing, not making her want it. Most date rapists do know that the woman does not want to have sex with them. They just don't care. They think it's okay if she doesn't say no or if she in any way agrees. And there is a culture that the goal is to get a female to be willing.

There are men who are pushy because they are hopeful that the woman will come around and fall for him, and this is also a problem. But they also tend to not view the women they are interested in as full human beings but as objects and roles in their fantasies. So, while it is a different aspect of an unhealthy culture, it is still unhealthy.

People who actually care about the desires of the person they are with do not try to push them into things they have expressed they do not want to do. Also, intent doesn't really matter. The social acceptability of pushing people into sexual activities they do not want makes it much easier for rape to be accepted and encourages blurrier lines between whether or not something should count as rape. So, regardless, it encourages rape.

It still isn't generally the same thing as rape. And asking doesn't make you a rapist. But trying to push someone into a sexual activity they don't want is bad. And it does encourage a culture that is more supportive of rapists.
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