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I made a twitter comment about STDs not being punishment for bad behaviour, and the reason is because I have been faced with several people recently who feel as though they did something WRONG to have gotten, or even just possibly been exposed to, an STD. Someone responded that they may not be punishment for bad behaviour, but they are punishment for bad decisions. WRONG. We have a stupidly enormous social stigma over STDs that is WAY out of proportion to the illnesses themselves, in comparison to similar other illnesses.
For example, if you tell someone that you caught chicken pox, well, that sucks, and it could even be dangerous. But no one thinks that you're a bad person, or that you did a bad thing, for coming in contact with someone who had chicken pox, thereby catching it yourself. Yet tell someone you have herpes, and suddenly you're a slut, a whore, you put yourself at risk, you made a bad decision, even though herpes is in the same family as chicken pox and, in fact, is so closely related, that you can test positive for HSV just because you had the chicken pox as a kid.
Life is risky, and viruses and bacteria all want to live and propegate as much as we do, so they will do anything they can in order to acheive that goal. That means that we are all at risk, all the time. Yes, some things are riskier than others, which is why I advocate safer sex and spend a great deal of time explaining how to do that. But sex is not the only way to catch something, and it's not even the best or most common way to catch something.
Herpes is often transmitted from parent to child via goodnight kisses. Virgins as young as 9, with no history of sexual molestation, show HPV in their skin cells. You can get an STD by having only one partner EVER, or sometimes even by having no partners ever.
I caught strep throat pretty much every year from 6th grade through high school. I was distinctly unpopular at that age, so it wasn't from making out with boys, it's just that easy to catch. I also caught pink eye about 3 times in one year, for no reason that I could ever figure out. I also caught Scarlet Fever when no one I knew had it. I also caught Whooping Cough, again, when no one I knew had it.
Mono used to be called The Kissing Disease. I caught it when I was 12. No, I didn't kiss anyone. In fact, my next door neighbor, a boy about a year older than me, also had mono, and we were both teased mercilessly as people suspected we had been kissing, when the truth of the matter was he hated me and would rather beat me up than kiss me.
I also caught hepatitis before I started having sexual relationships.
I also caught HPV when I had only 2 sexual partners ever.
Now that I'm an adult and have had quite a few more than 2 partners ever, I consistently test negative for all STDs, and I also rarely get strep throat anymore. I did not catch these illnesses because of bad decisions or bad behaviour. I caught them because I'm human.
You could possibly argue that a person who takes risks that you think are unreasonable is someone who is making bad decisions, or engaged in "bad" behaviour. But STDs are not punishment for that - it's a totally separate issue. They are a risk, and a consequence, to living, just as all illnesses are. Certain things have higher risks than others. But they are not punishment, and having an STD does not make you a bad person. It makes you a person with a virus or a bacteria. That's it.
For example, if you tell someone that you caught chicken pox, well, that sucks, and it could even be dangerous. But no one thinks that you're a bad person, or that you did a bad thing, for coming in contact with someone who had chicken pox, thereby catching it yourself. Yet tell someone you have herpes, and suddenly you're a slut, a whore, you put yourself at risk, you made a bad decision, even though herpes is in the same family as chicken pox and, in fact, is so closely related, that you can test positive for HSV just because you had the chicken pox as a kid.
Life is risky, and viruses and bacteria all want to live and propegate as much as we do, so they will do anything they can in order to acheive that goal. That means that we are all at risk, all the time. Yes, some things are riskier than others, which is why I advocate safer sex and spend a great deal of time explaining how to do that. But sex is not the only way to catch something, and it's not even the best or most common way to catch something.
Herpes is often transmitted from parent to child via goodnight kisses. Virgins as young as 9, with no history of sexual molestation, show HPV in their skin cells. You can get an STD by having only one partner EVER, or sometimes even by having no partners ever.
I caught strep throat pretty much every year from 6th grade through high school. I was distinctly unpopular at that age, so it wasn't from making out with boys, it's just that easy to catch. I also caught pink eye about 3 times in one year, for no reason that I could ever figure out. I also caught Scarlet Fever when no one I knew had it. I also caught Whooping Cough, again, when no one I knew had it.
Mono used to be called The Kissing Disease. I caught it when I was 12. No, I didn't kiss anyone. In fact, my next door neighbor, a boy about a year older than me, also had mono, and we were both teased mercilessly as people suspected we had been kissing, when the truth of the matter was he hated me and would rather beat me up than kiss me.
I also caught hepatitis before I started having sexual relationships.
I also caught HPV when I had only 2 sexual partners ever.
Now that I'm an adult and have had quite a few more than 2 partners ever, I consistently test negative for all STDs, and I also rarely get strep throat anymore. I did not catch these illnesses because of bad decisions or bad behaviour. I caught them because I'm human.
You could possibly argue that a person who takes risks that you think are unreasonable is someone who is making bad decisions, or engaged in "bad" behaviour. But STDs are not punishment for that - it's a totally separate issue. They are a risk, and a consequence, to living, just as all illnesses are. Certain things have higher risks than others. But they are not punishment, and having an STD does not make you a bad person. It makes you a person with a virus or a bacteria. That's it.
