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https://www.quora.com/I-m-an-aromantic-virgin-who-wants-to-have-sex-Should-I-just-do-it-with-someone-since-there-won-t-be-a-special-guy-in-mind/answer/Joreth-Innkeeper
Q. I’m an aromantic virgin who wants to have sex. Should I just do it with someone since there won’t be a special guy in mind?
A. I don’t believe that anyone else can tell you what you “should” do with your own body. But I can say that I wanted to have sex for the first time just for the sake of having sex, and not for any sort of romantic ideals connecting sex and love.
So I did. And I don’t regret it at all.
I chose someone who fit my requirements at the time, including the fact that he also did not want a romantic commitment from me, we had sex, I got my “first time” over with, and I went on with my life.
I’ll be totally honest, it was not *everything* I had hoped for. I actually had another person in mind, but he backed out at the last minute, so I went for “next best”. I believe that it would have been more pleasurable had I either had the chance with the first guy or I had waited to find someone equally suitable, rather than “well, you’ll do”.
That said, however, I’m glad I did it the way I did. I learned some things about myself and I have continued to take those lessons with me throughout my life and expand on them. I enjoy sex without a romantic attachment, and I enjoy having the freedom to choose when I want sex with that romantic attachment and when I want sex without it.
So I won’t tell you that you should “just do it with someone”, and I most certainly won’t tell you that you need to “wait for that someone special”. If you meet someone and you feel it’s right for you and they consent to it, then go for it.
Make sure you get a good sex education in terms of STD protection and treatment (and contraceptives for hetero sex), maybe do a little research into power imbalances to make sure you aren’t being taken advantage of and you don’t accidentally pressure someone or take advantage of someone else, and then if it feels right for you, you can make an informed decision to have sex just because you want to, not because you’re “supposed to” (or, alternately, you don’t put it off just because you’re “not supposed to”).
Q. I’m an aromantic virgin who wants to have sex. Should I just do it with someone since there won’t be a special guy in mind?
A. I don’t believe that anyone else can tell you what you “should” do with your own body. But I can say that I wanted to have sex for the first time just for the sake of having sex, and not for any sort of romantic ideals connecting sex and love.
So I did. And I don’t regret it at all.
I chose someone who fit my requirements at the time, including the fact that he also did not want a romantic commitment from me, we had sex, I got my “first time” over with, and I went on with my life.
I’ll be totally honest, it was not *everything* I had hoped for. I actually had another person in mind, but he backed out at the last minute, so I went for “next best”. I believe that it would have been more pleasurable had I either had the chance with the first guy or I had waited to find someone equally suitable, rather than “well, you’ll do”.
That said, however, I’m glad I did it the way I did. I learned some things about myself and I have continued to take those lessons with me throughout my life and expand on them. I enjoy sex without a romantic attachment, and I enjoy having the freedom to choose when I want sex with that romantic attachment and when I want sex without it.
So I won’t tell you that you should “just do it with someone”, and I most certainly won’t tell you that you need to “wait for that someone special”. If you meet someone and you feel it’s right for you and they consent to it, then go for it.
Make sure you get a good sex education in terms of STD protection and treatment (and contraceptives for hetero sex), maybe do a little research into power imbalances to make sure you aren’t being taken advantage of and you don’t accidentally pressure someone or take advantage of someone else, and then if it feels right for you, you can make an informed decision to have sex just because you want to, not because you’re “supposed to” (or, alternately, you don’t put it off just because you’re “not supposed to”).
